Out of the Mouths of My Kids

I don't have an actual post prepared or anything, but I do have some snipits of funny things that my kids have said over the past few years.

What comes out of the mouths of kids can be really...interesting. They ask strange questions. They say weird things. They make up stuff, and then ask you about it as if you were just in their head going through the secret compartments like going through old boxes in an attic, only you are not in their head and you have no idea what they are talking about.

Kids definitely make life interesting. And mine just crack me up sometimes.

Here are some quips my kids have said over the years:

-What is in your hand? A mickel. (nickel)

-When my husband was trying to put some food on our son's plate and having a conversation with someone and the boy kept protesting and trying to tell him he didn't want any more but hubs was just not paying attention...then the boy said this, "Don't do that, Father!"

-Son it's time to wake up... (in the process of stirring and waking up) I'm a chicken hatching from an egg.

-You silly goose. I'm not a goose. I'm a gazelle! (He still says this).

- While working on teaching my son to read, I was trying to get him to say the word "mother". I'm not a father...I'm____. Human.

-Teaching my son to read is an interesting endeavor. Getting him to sound out words can lead to funny moments and he has no idea why they are funny. For example, the word "as", short vowel a sound followed by an s that sounds like a z...unless you are learning to read then you get the short vowel with the normal s sound and a completely different word.

-My son made a little ring hat with a bat attached to it. He wore the thing in car line and for a while at home as well. The other day my husband put on the bat hat and proclaimed to be Batman. On the wing of the bat is my son's name. My son spelled his name and said, "You're not me. That's not how you spell your name." How do you spell Batman? My son stops, and thinks for a second, then pulls his pants down so he can see how to spell Batman from his underwear, and proceeds to spell it for Daddy.

-My daughter has been working on a "trick". She's learning to wink. "Wink". It's kind of funny that she thinks it's a trick, and she has been practicing. We went to the library and she wanted to show the librarian behind the desk her trick. I had to explain why her face was all scrunched up, but once I did it made sense to the librarian who was delighted that someone had given her a wink as it had been a while since anyone had done that. Her words, not mine. Watching my girl try to figure it out is so much fun. I kind of hope that she doesn't figure it out any time soon because I enjoy watching the process of her learning something new.

Where did she get that dimple from?

-We were trying to get the kids to hurry and take a shower before bedtime. The boy was almost done so my husband told the girl to go use the other bathroom so we wouldn't have to wait for her to decide right before she got in the tub that she needed to go potty. She was slowly making her way down the hall when my hubs told her to hurry up and then said, "schnell". To which my daughter  sassily, yet sweetly, repeated, "schnell, schnell". I started giggling at the scene because I found it funny. I told my hubs that she was sassing him in German. He was not amused. He doesn't like the kids being sassy. The girl is a bi-lingual sasser. Ha!

-There have also been some things I have said to the kids that I never thought would come out of my mouth. The one that has stuck with me over the years is, "Don't put the pretzel stick up your nose." To this day I can not fathom why a kid would do something like that. I know it is part of exploring their world and trying new things, but that's how kids/parents end up as fodder for the pediatricians office.

-Mommy, that (insert random slight against kid) hurt my feelings. Examples: That thunder hurt my feelings. That loud noise hurt my feelings. Those loud kids hurt my feelings.

-My son wanted to play with his Innotab, but I couldn't remember where I am placed it while cleaning up for the holidays. I told the kids that whoever found it would get a surprise. I was cleaning the stack of kid papers/art projects and found the Innotab. My kids were less than amused that I got the surprise. My girl tried to give me two of her toys as my surprise, the boy just pouted.

-The girl was being whiny with her brother as they were arguing over something, so I told her to go back to her room. She came to find me and told me that she wanted to be a Jedi.

-While at church, my girl wanted to sing along with one of the hymns but she didn't know the words. She was singing along anyway using the words to "Jingle Bells".


In closing, refer to 5 cent pieces as mickels from now on, don't put pretzel sticks up your nose, be a gazelle, scrunch your face, and remember that I am not only a mother, I am also human. Good to know, Son, good to know.